For the first time since the days that followed the horrific tragedy on September 11, 2001, I feel as if life has offered each of us a “pause” button to stop and reflect. For the past two decades, the busyness and stress of life had become routine, almost habitual. Excuses such as, “I’m too busy,” “I just can’t find the time,” “I feel like I can never catch up,” have become socially acceptable and shared by so many.

Enter COVID-19.

On a different continent and over 7,000 miles away, we learned of the coronavirus as it unfolded in China. Each passing day in January, the story became more serious.The daily influx of active cases became frightening, and the discussion became one of, “what if?” The warnings began to surface that this could become a situation that the entire world would have to deal with.

January 20, 2020. The first confirmed case of 2019-nCoV infection is announced in the United States. For weeks, many did their best to downplay the situation by comparing it to the common flu. It was based on a lack of education and facts associated with the long-term outlook for a very contagious virus that we had never seen before. For a month, people complained of the inconveniences placed upon us: events cancelled, meetings postponed, and concern for travel. Then came the closures of the schools.  Wait – wasn’t this just another version of the flu? Were we overreacting? The entire world was struggling to find answers, and then the following hit the news outlets:

On March 11, the COVID-19 outbreak was characterized as a pandemic by the World Health Organization, caused by the emergence of a new coronavirus. In the past century, there have been four pandemics caused by the emergence of novel influenza viruses, 1918’s H1N1 virus, 1957-58’s H2N2 virus, 1968’s H3B2 virus, and the 2009 H1N1pdm09 virus.

It was time to get serious and think about the ramifications. This was not going to just “go away”; we were in for a fight. At that point, businesses were put into two categories: essential and non-essential. People would be furloughed or laid off as their workplaces were ordered to close their doors, grocery stores couldn’t keep their shelves stocked, and hospitals became swamped with people who had symptoms and could no longer breathe on their own.

The pause button was pressed. The world changed.

Rather than tune into the 24/7 news cycle that causes fear, I directed my attention toward opportunity and improvement. I’d like to encourage you to take  full advantage of this “pause” to become more self-aware and reflect on where you are in your life today, as well.

During the downtime, ask yourself some questions: Are you the person you envisioned 10 years ago? What about five years ago? What about a year ago? Are your core values and non-negotiables still the same? Do you operate off a set of principles that you refuse to sacrifice? Are you generous with your time? Do you still have gratitude in your heart?

The first step in getting what you want out of life is to have the courage to get rid of what you DON’T want in your life.  Here is an exercise that can help you with self-reflection:

Get out a piece of paper and draw two lines down the paper splitting it into thirds. In the first column, write “Limitations”, in the center write “Opportunities”, and in the third column, write “Improvements”. Really take some quiet time to be vulnerable and honest with yourself as you do this exercise.

Let’s start with the obvious: Limitations. Based on the current circumstances, what things can you no longer do based on the limitations that have been placed upon you? Also list things that are barriers based on other aspects of  your life besides the pandemic.

The column of Opportunities will take time and creative thinking. For each item in the Limitations list, take the time to discover where you might find an opportunity (or that silver lining) now that your life on pause. Are you a non-essential business? Are you working from home or passing the time until you can work again? If you have customers or clients, find opportunities to stay top-of-mind with them. Send personal letters of thanks for their past support, encouragement, or creative ideas to help them keep their business afloat despite the pandemic.

You can review your business plan, mission statement, vision, and goals to make the tough changes and adjustments now so you have a clear look at the rest of the year. What things have you put off? That stack of personal development books you’ve been meaning to read? What are things you can do right now to have an edge against your competitors when life “gets back to normal” — whatever that might look like?

In the third column, “Improvements”. Use positivity to ask yourself what has gotten better or easier recently? How can you cultivate more of that and make it part of your routine? Maybe you have discovered balance, or what makes you happy, a new hobby, or maybe you’ve been recharged with creativity and ideas to come back stronger than ever. You can also use this area to gather your thoughts on how to handle a crisis moving forward.

Above all else, please don’t isolate yourself and allow the voices of negativity and panic to take over. You may have zero control over many limitations in your life right now, but you do have control over how you react to the limitations. Be vigilant, be responsible, focus on being a part of the solution and not the problem. There are always people who have it worse than you, so discover gratitude and help others during this time of stress and uncertainty. Look within and recognize those around you who need you. Make that your priority for now: finding peace in the chaos, whether it’s in your job, your home, your family, or your friends. Reach out and connect.

While you’re at it, make a list of all the things you took for granted before the pandemic. Later, you can pull it out and your heart should be flooded with gratitude for all those little things you couldn’t do or have. Life is too short; make the most of it while you’re here. Don’t waste this opportunity — hopefully we won’t have another one like it for a very long time.

Go do great things today and make a difference.

Note:  Following the completion of this blog, the NCAA suspended all spring sports as a result of the global pandemic, COVID-19. Be sure to read the end of this post and see how true champions lead in adversity.  

“THE BAMA WAY”

That moment is here,

The time is now,

We must pay for it with blood and tears

And the sweat from our brow,

But we don’t complain, we just lift and we flow,

It’s the price of winning and we will leave no doubt.

I will give my team the best of me,

Making sure that a strong man is standing next to me,

Tradition says that greatness is our destiny,

But it takes hard work to rebuild a legacy.

We never worry about tomorrow

We just focus on today,

Making progress is part of the process

For our better play.

Our pursuit started at the boots and now we regroup

As one team, one school, a family with one dream.

To climb to the top and three to remain by doing things the ‘Bama way!

— Written by former Alabama football captain, Todd Bates, to inspire the football team

In 2010, when both of my daughters were just discovering their passion for softball, we were asked to join some friends on a visit to the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa.Not only did we get to watch some softball, but we also attended a reunion of the gymnastics team that our friend competed with when they won the National Championship in 1988. It was an incredible weekend of touring the campus, stadiums, watching softball and attending my first gymnastics meet with 14,000 of my closest friends. After that trip, the University of Alabama became one of my favorite places to attend sporting events.

From softball to football, gymnastics to baseball, basketball to soccer, as long as they weren’t playing against Texas A&M (Class of ’91), I would root for the Crimson Tide. In the past 10 years, I have been so blessed to cross paths with some amazing people who have become dear friends over the years. One in particular, head softball coach Patrick Murphy — who is not only a friend, but a trusted mentor.

In the world of college softball, Alabama is a powerhouse under the leadership of Coach Murphy. A 2012 National Championship, twelve Women’s College World Series berths, five SEC regular season titles, six SEC Tournament titles and 21-straight NCAA Tournament bids are only a few of the team honors that Murphy has brought to Tuscaloosa during his tenure. Since the inception of Charge Up, I have had the honor and privilege to speak to Murph’s softball team more than once.

It’s easy to understand why I consider Murph a mentor. I am able to observe his demeanor, both on and off the field, and witness his ability to connect with his student-athletes. When I am around him, all I want to do is listen and learn.

Murph has an incredible gift of earning trust, being authentic, and getting to know you as a person. It also says a lot about this man’s character when the past players continue coming back for alumni weekends. The bonds came from the family atmosphere that Murph creates.

Players still talk about a concept introduced at the beginning of a season years ago that ended up becoming a buzz word all over sports. The theme that year was “Mudita”. Mudita is a Buddhist worst that translates to “a pure joy unadulterated by self-interest”. It is the pleasure that comes from delighting in other people’s well-being. When we are happy for the joy other beings feel, it is called mudita. (The opposite word is invidia, which translates to “envy.”)

At a conference I recently spoke at with Coach Murphy, the example he provided painted the perfect picture. He said that, “If a fan were to walk into Rhoads Stadium late, and a homerun was just hit, as they watched the celebration at home plate, they wouldn’t know who hit the home run. It’s a shared joy in accomplishment and success.”

What started as a theme for a season has become the foundation of a culture for this program. Its legacy has been built on the collective success, not just the All-Americans and other award winners. Every player has a role, and knows she is a crucial piece to the unique success that each team has —which is why Murph numbers his teams. e was an assistant for the first two years of his tenure, and a head coach for the past twenty-two, but this year’s team is simply referred to as “Team 24”. It is a way to respect the personality and authenticity of a team. When reminiscing, you will hear people talk about “Team 19,” or “Team 5,” and if you are a true fan of the crimson and white, you will know exactly what they are talking about.

It’s easy to get lost in the simplicity of Mudita. The first time I heard about it, I thought, “How can it be that difficult to implement in sports, families, or even as a leader at work?” Over the years, I have had the privilege to observe the growth and attention to detail that Murph applies to ensure each team stays the course and makes the message a way of life. In other words, celebrating the success of those around you becomes a habit. For Alabama, it is the difference between being a good team, and a great team.

If you push Murph to give you more details about it, he will just smile in his usual manner, turn his head, adjust his hat. And without you even realizing it, he will change the subject.

You see, some things are only talked about with family.

Note:  Following the completion of this blog, the NCAA suspended all spring sports as a result of the global pandemic, COVID-19. The softball season for the Tide officially ended on Thursday, March 12^th. Coaches, players and staff were devastated by the event because it came with no warning; most learned the news through social media. 

At that time, it meant that seniors had played their last game without ever knowing it. It was a whirlwind of events and emotions for all NCAA spring sports across the nation. After the initial shock set in, and these programs were able to meet and discuss the events, most everyone were able to understand the bigger picture and focus on what needed to be done in a timely manner — in an effort to contribute toward an initiative to slow the spread of the virus.

How did Coach Murphy handle it? He talked about having a growth mindset and understanding that things happen beyond our control every day. It’s how we handle them that define our character and integrity. He also reminded them of the family they were a part of.  f mudita meant to share in the celebration of one’s success, it also meant to share in the sadness and disappointment of one’s adversity. And with that, the team parted ways knowing that there is nothing better than having the support and love of family. 

Roll Tide, and Roll Team #24.

Why do we insist on making life so difficult? We waste so much time regretting yesterday and worrying about tomorrow that we fail to live in the moment. We complain about what we don’t have, we compare ourselves to others, and we regret not taking action when we should have. All of these are controllable actions — and you either need to act upon them or let them go. Start approaching life with the mindset of, “make the best of the present moment.”

BE. HERE. NOW.

Time is the most precious gift we are given, yet we make conscious choices every day to focus on what “could be” as opposed to “what is.” None of us know when that last grain of sand will fall to the bottom of the hourglass. Being present consists of an uninhibited focus on what we have in the here and now, and it also creates an emotion that is the foundation to living a fulfilled life:

GRATITUDE

Experiencing sincere gratitude “in the moment” will alter your attitude toward positivity, not only in the “now,” but for the future. It is a shift of mindset that allows you to be selfless, humble and authentic. You begin to connect with people better. Your approach toward adversity doesn’t begin with the thought of, “why did this happen?” but rather, “how can I fix it?” The more you do this, the more you will develop a clear lens of perspective that you may have lacked. All of this is made possible through gratitude.

IMAGINE TAKING THIS APPROACH AS A LEADER

Effective leaders don’t take a minute for granted because they operate off the basis that the only control they have lies within the current circumstances. Of course, they visualize about the future and reflect about the past, but they know the present is critical. What are the strengths of the team? Where does the competitive edge lie? What will innovation require? Where can the breakthroughs begin? What will success look like?

One way to start living in the moment is to become more self-aware. Have a clear perception of who you are – your strengths, weaknesses, values, emotions, etc. Self-awareness also requires you to understand others without judgement, in the moment. If you can create a habit that focuses on an honest assessment of where you are in life, you begin to take stock in what really is important. Do this long enough and the value of the present becomes second nature.

Another way is to never stop building upon your integrity. When you have a solid foundation of morals and principles, you are keener to your behaviors. In other words, you recognize that every day is a new day, filled with possibilities to make an impact and be a positive force.

Control the controllables, and if you are carrying the burden of trying to control things that are outside of your control, let them go. It isn’t easy, in fact, it will require tremendous discipline and selflessness to achieve it. However, the rewards far outweigh the efforts. Don’t waste your whole life waiting to start living the life you were meant to live. Change your thought process to start living in the moment.

Not tomorrow.  Not yesterday.  Just today.

Go do great things today and make a difference.

Remember when patience was a virtue? 

Patience is no longer a behavior showing high moral standards, but rather, it has become a struggle to instill this lost trait into people who want it all — and want it now. In an age of instant gratification, people are falling prey to snake oil salesman promising them overnight success.

The self-improvement industry is now a $10 billion niche. Through audiobooks, infomercials, self-improvement books, self-improvement apps, personal coaching, motivational speakers, and certification courses, Americans are looking for the opportunity to grow their skills and improve their advantage. If this continues, this new generation of leaders will be more prepared than ever to make an impact.

However, all it takes is a few minutes scrolling through social media to see that a minority have chosen to exploit people. Witness the “get rich quick” videos that promote a 24-7-365 lifestyle that results in Lamborghinis, private jets and mansions with ocean views. All you need to do is enroll in their program, sign all the legal paperwork, and trust the young entrepreneur with the $20,000 watch, big smile and testimonials from all his friends who are in their 20’s and have gained membership into the top 1% of richest people in America.

The path of patience, however, is a result of a few critical ingredients: experience, wisdom, and failure. The stepping stones to success lie within the adversity we face. To fail is to learn. Innovation and breakthrough include trial and error — and that journey requires time and patience. The gifts that come out of that investment are wisdom and experience.

When you have the opportunity to grow and see the results of each step you take toward your goals, you learn to appreciate planning and patience.

Life happens in the small moments.

Learning to live in the moment and not be so obsessed with outcomes is key to fulfillment. It’s about trusting the process. It’s been said numerous times — nobody gets dropped off at the top of the mountain; they have to make the journey step by step. Discover the joy in the actual journey. Embrace every emotion along the way because you will face adversity, criticism, negativity, and setbacks. But you will also experience the highest of highs with your accomplishments and those who believe in you.

Being a true Texan, let me provide you the best example of the rewards of patience. Would you put a brisket in the microwave, or choose to put it on a smoker for 5-6 hours? I’ve cooked enough briskets in my lifetime to tell you there is nothing better than the wait, knowing that the effort you’re investing will be worth every minute when you pull that brisket off the pit.

The challenges of impatience have been around forever. When you commit to hard work and perseverance, patience will pay off, and you will live a more fulfilled life based on high moral excellence. If shortcuts worked, everyone would take them.

Stay patient, stay positive and work hard.

Go do great things today and make a difference.